“Marriage is hard work.” I know you’ve heard this phrase before and you may have even uttered it yourself. But just how hard is the work, really? If we’re honest with ourselves, we can spend more energy avoiding the “work” than actually doing it. So, guys, I offer two words that will be an investment in your marriage: Chick Flick. Here’s how you can tell if you’re watching a chick flick. There will be no explosions, no breaking glass, no guns and no blood.
My wife, Andee, likes those British movies about women named Jane: Jane Eyre, Jane Austen, Lost in Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Wives and Daughters, and now, Downton Abbey. But I have a question: Do any of the men in those movies ever work? So I call them movies about men who don’t work. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I don’t quite understand the guys in these movies. (I say quite because that’s what the British say.)
All those movies seem to have the same storyline:
They all center on a very wealthy man who doesn’t work, and who can only produce daughters. In each movie, he sits in his study wringing his hands because a distant cousin is going to inherit his wealth when he dies. His cousins seem to produce plenty of sons, all of questionable character. The sons only want to marry rich girls so they won’t have to work…and presumably, they will sit in their study wringing their hands.
Throw in a hysterical scheming mother and a rich, handsome young man who just happens to be single (probably because he can’t communicate his feelings). There’s always a ball where everybody knows how to dance. Then in a “surprising” twist, he falls in love with the plainest daughter and the movie ends with their wedding.
No wonder England is so messed up!
But real life doesn’t end with a wedding. The wedding is only the beginning of a marriage. Chick flicks never show life after the wedding because going to work and doing laundry doesn’t sell movies. Raising children and paying bills aren’t sexy. Yet they are the substance of everyday life. Plus, most of us don’t have a staff of servants to run our estate. So when the kitchen sink springs a leak, “Yours Truly Plumbing Service” gets to repair it. That would be me.
Sometimes, at the end of the day when the work is all done, I’ll watch a chick flick with my wife. It is great for our relationship. It allows us to connect on a level that guys don’t even know we have.
I’m no Colin Firth, but I know how important it is to take an interest in doing things that please my wife. (British movies help by reminding me to communicate so I don’t become like those British actors.)
Letting our spouse choose the movie is a great way that married couples can serve one another, (especially if we don’t complain.) Andee is great at this. Because whenever Friday night rolls around, and I suggest that we watch Band of Brothers or Blackhawk Down, She is quick to agree and starts popping the popcorn. Now that’s connecting!