Growing up, report card time was never my favorite. I figured playing was a lot more fun than homework. Consequently I was only an average student, and I adopted an attitude that C’s were OK and A’s were for other people. Most people grow up and get married. I got married and then I had to grow up. The bible says: When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Cor 13:11)
I decided I didn’t want to settle for a C in marriage: Comparing, Competing, Complaining, Criticizing, Compromising, which result in Carnality, Contention, Controlling, and Contempt which leads to Condemnation. Many couples resign themselves to having a C marriage with a D in Bible: Drifting (Heb 2:1), Doubting (Heb 3:7-8), Ducking (Heb 3:13) Dullness (Heb 5:11), Despising (Heb 10:26-29), and Defying God’s word. (Heb 12:14-29).
But I want to encourage us to be diligent to get an A in bible. Because the same way we need to be good at math to do well in physics; we need to know and apply the scriptures in order to get an A in marriage. We‘ll learn to Accept our spouse (Eph 1:6) as they are and help them to be the person they want to be in the Lord. We will Acknowledge (Isa 61:8-10) their Attributes (1 Cor 12:4-11) and the unique way God made them. Adore them. Express our Approval and Affirm them (Phil 1:10). Admire our spouse and tell them why. Express Affection regularly and meaningfully to them (1 Cor 7:3). And Appreciate them for who they are, as well as what they do.
Do you remember your favorite teacher in school? They had a special way of teaching. They didn’t “talk down” to you, but they whet your appetite so you wanted to learn. Maybe you’re a little farther along in your walk with the Lord than your spouse. You can help them raise that C to and A, but you must be an A student first. Be prayerful and careful. Remember, Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies (1 Cor 8:1). There is a saying: “Don’t tell me, show me”. Paul told Timothy: Be an example of the believer (1 Tim 4:12). That’s good advice for a marriage that makes the grade.