Visually Generous

JLoI couldn’t believe my eyes. I casually logged onto the internet to check my email and there was JLo‘s bare chest, staring me right in the face. She wasn’t naked. She was at an awards ceremony, posing for photographers in an “outfit” exposing all but the tiniest portion of her breasts, and split all the way down, let’s say… well below her navel. I didn’t click on the link, but I didn’t need to. The image is indelibly in my mind, and there is nothing I can do to remove it.Computer

In the computer world, the solution would be to format the hard drive and start over. In the real world it is not that simple.  Our minds retain those images and drift back to them at the most inopportune times. EraserWe may be tinkering on the car or mowing the lawn, and those images pop back into our mind. I’d like to say that I’m immune, but I’m just like any other guy. I can’t go to the store or watch TV for five minutes without seeing a suggestively dressed woman. I don’t understand all the physiology, but I know that when men see a naked woman, something fires in the pleasure center of the brain. Thus the saying: “Some men are visual…the rest are dead.” Get Out of Jail FreeBut guys, we can’t just say it’s normal, and use it as our get out of jail free card. The bible tells us to take every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5. We can’t stop a bird from landing on our head, but we can prevent it from building a nest.Nest on your Head

Many wives are hurt and frustrated when they see their husbands struggle with the visual assaults. But don’t get mad at your husband for being male. Be a sympathetic ally. You can be his biggest helper in the battle. Many husbands haven’t seen their wife naked since the invention of the walk-in closet. Walk In ClosetThey have no visuals of their own wife’s body that they can muse upon when temptation strikes.

Wives can be a tremendous help to their husbands by simply dressing in front of their husband. When you’re changing clothes, don’t go into the bathroom and close the door; dress where he can see you. You don’t have to do a strip tease and you don’t have to make an event of it, but be visually generous. When you are preparing for bed, do it in front of your husband. Take your time and carry on a conversation. I promise you, he will be attentive. Husband Thinking of his WifeGive your husband some “sanctified images” to remember and think about. Remember, you are the only person in the world whose body he can think about without guilt. Give him plenty of moments to remember, rewind and relive, focused on you. You may be astonished at the results.

Many good-willed husbands and wives have suffered needlessly, because they did not know how to help each other. Amazingly, a willingness to serve our spouse and a few small changes in our dressing habits can infuse health and satisfaction into our marriage in ways we never would have imagined.

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About John Paladini

John Paladini is a husband, pastor and author. He has been happily married to Andrena for 34+ years. They have three adult children, six grandchildren....and counting. John has devoted hundreds of hours to marriage counseling, conferences and bible studies that strengthen marriages.

2 thoughts on “Visually Generous

  1. Well, I guess you figured it out that I replied instead of forwarding 😏. Thanks for your Great insights. 😊 Tim & Rebecca Sent from my iPad

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